Susan

What Henry Winkler wrote (as above) in a few words is so poignant a thought. In fact, what is seen is seldom the underlying truth.

This short story is of Mrs. Susan Petit, the lady with a soft heart who became a victim of assumptions, unspoken ties and fragile bonds.

About 20 years back, Susan Petit met and employed Lily. A friendly neighbour had introduced Lily to Susan as Lily was a good governess and was looking for a job. Susan had lost her husband and she was looking for someone to be with her. Her daughter Denise was studying in Australia and it would be take some years for her to come back. 

Susan and Lily vibed rather well. Lily was adept at taking care of the house and that suited Susan. There was a bond of companionship between them. Susan hardly interfered with what Lily did and both of them spent most of the afternoons and evenings together with a pot of coffee, some home made cookies and muffins, in the sit out or in the TV room, in each other’s company watching TV, chit chatting or playing carrom. By 8 pm, Lily served a light dinner for both…soup, salad, mashed potatoes and a few chicken sandwiches. Then she tucked Susan into bed with a prayer. Every night Lily thanked God for having given her Mrs Petit.

Susan’s daughter, Denise, would come down during the summer holidays and spend a month at home. Lily’s interactions with Denise were limited as she then took time off to visit her relatives as Denise was around with Susan. 

After fifteen long years, Denise broke up with her long time boyfriend, decided to return home and start her own business. Susan was overjoyed. Excited and restless, she ran around to get Denise’s room, the hall, the fireplace, the sit out, the TV room done up to her liking. Lily felt totally cut off as Susan was in her own world and was getting drained out supervising so much work by herself. It took a toll on her health, dwindling the evening chitchats and she retired to bed by dinner time. Susan hardly sat with Lily anymore.

In a couple of months, Denise came down. Susan was hovering around her, regardless of whether Denise wanted her to be there or not. Lily did feel at times that Denise wanted to be left alone.

On the other hand, Susan no longer spent any quality time with her and that bothered Lily. She sorely missed Susan’s presence around her. While Susan and Denise didn’t interfere with her work, they hardly involved her in their own activities either. Lily suspected that Denise looked upon Lily merely as her Mom’s attendant. It upset Lily when she felt that Susan had not explained to Denise as to how close they were. Lily started feeling like an outsider.

After a few months, Lily decided to look for a change of job. Winter was slowly descending and the place became cooler by the day. The sun was setting early and the fog settled in fast and thick. The fireplaces needed to be lit through the day all over the house and the sit out was rarely comfortable anymore. With Susan’s obsession with Denise and Lily’s lack of presence around her, Susan’s health deteriorated. She caught cold frequently and started to be in bed with slight fever and discomfort. Denise was busy with her work and Susan missed Lily’s reassuring presence.

One cold, rain lashed morning, Lily came up to Susan’s bed and told her that she would be leaving the job by the end of the week. Susan was terrified. She just looked at Lily blankly and tears welled up in her eyes. She was coughing and wheezing. Lily had to look away because she didn’t want to leave this place which she had once looked upon as her home. But the circumstances no longer made her comfortable and she needed to be out of the place. 

Next Sunday when Lily was waiting at the bus stop to take the bus to go to her new employer, she was filled with terrible disquiet. As if she was losing her bearings. Suddenly she saw Denise’s driver coming up with the car. He ran upto her to take her back. ‘Madam is very sick,’ he said, ‘she is asking for you. Come fast.’ Lily ran back with him fearing the worst. It took them a good ten minutes to reach the bungalow which was situated on top of a hill. By the time Lily reached Susan’s bed, she was no more. Denise stood motionless by the bedpost. Lily sat down in a heap on the floor. She would never see Mrs Petit again, she realised. She had just lost her rudder and her mooring. Denise told Lily that her Mom had always said that Lily was special for her. She had directed Denise to take good care of Lily and keep her in the house as family, as long as Lily lived. Susan had left the cottage next to the main house for Lily and some of her money. 

But all this was much too late in the day. Denise implored her to stay back but Lily was firm. She was drowning in remorse and grappling with the loss. She decided to go to her village, far away from the trauma.

In this entire toss up of relationships, Mrs Susan Petit was the biggest loser. She gave whatever she could to Denise and Lily, but none of them really understood her. Denise was too involved with herself and Lily never could appreciate the value of the unspoken emotions.

Navigating the emotional landscape requires patience, empathy and resilience. Sometimes the emotions bind persons together and sometimes they tear them apart, leaving scars that never fully heal. Many a times such toss ups hurt all those who are around as much or even more. Such is the reality of life.