never say never

The world has come to a grinding halt. Indians are coming to terms with sitting quiet, a characteristic quite alien to them. And me? Well, for me the last two months have taught me to ‘never say never’ as I struggle with my daily routine. Let me explain.

I am, I must admit, a person who enjoys solitude. But in some measure. This lockdown is a double whammy! Banishment with punishment. My life now revolves around looking for and identifying all the pulses, vegetables, spices, pots and pans, ladles, cutlery, kitchen cloth, wipes, vacuum cleaner, sweeping gadget, to name a few. And then keeping the apartment spic and span.

Additionally, I manage to whip something up with my new found culinary expertise and finish the rest of the chores. After all the laborious tasks, I trudge to my books, iPad and laptop. Cell phone is enjoying its own solitude as well, since my clients are resting and I have no energy left to socialise. Social distancing is really at its peak as far as I am concerned.

Talking of social distancing, I have been flooded with links of ‘free’ webinars and online meeting sessions for personal as well as professional benefits. I am spoilt for choice and pick the ones that suit my time and intellect, hoping they come in handy at some point.

But not all the hours are so nerve racking. The pandemic does have its brighter hues. I have found some quality time to read posts on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook to enjoy the writings, art and craft posts that some have uploaded. So much talent online. Outstanding creativity that I have seen in uploaded video clips, music and poetry with a soul and a fair share of Indian and international recipes.

It’s a huge stress buster for me to sit and enjoy these posts in the dead of night. In fact, a few of the uploads are so good that they take my breath away! I sincerely feel that these few authors should certainly graduate to the next level in their creative pursuits as soon as possible.

And then again, I enjoy listening to senior counsels discuss relevant legal issues lucidly, across nations. Ted Talks, web series and movies also take away a fair share of my beauty sleep. So much to catch up on!

But hey, I have not just been a good listener and viewer! I also do my bit. I have gone back to reading and writing. I realise how much I had missed them in these insane years. So many ideas and wishes have sprung up on me that they threaten to engulf me in the times of my ‘solitude and silent nights’.

Now the predicament is how do I find a balance between what I love to do and what I was doing pre-lockdown? Post lockdown, my life, I reckon, will not be able to go back to what it was. Life has always thrown challenges at me ever since I can remember, but this one is probably going to be the mother of it all.

In fact, when I start getting back into my creative groove, my love for travel should come in very handy. Also, this new found practice of managing the home front by myself has made me confident of my own ability to deal with my body and mind more deftly.

On the flipside, time on hand is also a spoiler. Deluge of memories that I have to sieve through all the time – some very poignant, drains me out emotionally. And the roads to choose from, for my onward journey, driving me away from my comfort zone, gets me edgy.

In this soulful, emotional tryst, I have found forgotten talents and lost few travails that I would have held on to, under different circumstances…

My head reels now! So much thinking is tiring. Not just for me. People across the globe must be tired. The uncertainty is killing! Hope the pandemic slackens its pace and the world is able to breathe easy at least…in another three months maybe?

Difficult times indeed. Vaccine, I understand is far away. May the opportunity to make mega bucks come quickly to researchers and pharma companies to find the right medicine for this virus. If it’s from India, even better.